Deadspin hookup fail NEW COLUMN: Hook-Up Fook-Ups

Deadspin hookup fail

As soon as his hookup fail went down i shoved his face into the pancakes and called him a motor boatin' son of a bitch. My freshman year in college. I thought we were looking at stars?

I quit the job at the country club too and prayed to God that I never ran into her again.

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If this is your first time visiting the brand new Betches, please click here to reset your password. Happy to say, she must have been "dormant" or something because, to this day, I remain Herpes-free. She says, "What are you doing?


You already have an account. On the night we took a canoe and a big double sleeping bag and paddled out to the island. I told her I loved looking at the stars and I'd like to take her out to the island in the middle of our lake for some late night "star-gazing". Sign In Forget Password? Finally, we ended up running into each other at a college party. We talked a lot, flirted a lot, traded dirty, veiled double entendres in front of the campers and snuggled at the late night counselor campfires but never kissed.

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Just be honest and clear - let a good, funny story be good and funny on its own. Skip to main content. Make your best attempt at brevity - I understand that when telling a story, you need to set the scene.

This back and forth flirting went on for a couple more months but nothing was coming of it. Already have an account? We weren't on the same page.

Needless to say I couldn't get out of there in time and I'm pretty sure the hot chick fucked a second team linebacker that night. Well that was Friday night.

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It was normally an all-girls camp, but they had one co-ed session and year so they needed a few male counselors. We both knew only one of us would be facing up while we were out "star-gazing".

Aussie Ashley and I didn't speak much the rest of the week.

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Have you ever been the architect of your own hookup demise? I lived near by so we went back to my apartment. She was very excited. Maybe she wasn't allowed to wear it at work. Have I heard of Herpes???

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It's too bad you spent the whole two weeks with Ashley. I invited her to a party if you can call it that at my tiny apartment, and things went well. If our normal flirting routine was a small campfire, the addition of alcohol was like gasoline, so it quickly escalated. Files must be less than MB. Select the newsletter s to which you wish to subscribe.


We get there, I unroll the sleeping bag, we lay down and Aussie Ashley starts asking me "what's that constellation", "what's that star", "is that a planet"? I was at a bar with two friends and its getting close to hookup fail call so we decide to hit the dance floor.

We played beer pong, flirted, but no bedroom time, which was fine because she seemed like a nice girl. Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry.

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Like most kids my age, I was forced to get a job as to appease my parents so they didn't "stop paying for my college.